Respecting our Parents

Posted by islamic web  |  at  9:30 PM

Parents are willing to sacrifice anything and everything for their children. What do they deserve in return? At the end of a long, hard day, I finally lay my nine-months-old daughter to sleep. I stare deeply at her innocent face. Flashback of a hectic day run through my mind - feeding, changing, chasing, teaching and entertaining.

Then my thoughts change gear as I wonder about her future. What does life have in store for her? Will it be laughter and happiness or tears and pain? Will she be the best Muslim she can be or will someone or something lead her astray? Will I be there to guide her and lead her back into the straight path? Will she even care or listen? Then I snapped back into the present by her loud and sudden cry, praying that it will not be another all-nighter. Allah knows how much I love, and dearly miss my sleep.

Thoughts and occurrences similar to this one are what every parent, especially the mother, has or will have experienced. They are willing to sacrifice anything and everything for their children. Time, money, sleep and sometimes even social lives are on the top of that list.

What do they deserve in return? Well, you cannot give back time and sleep. They are almost certainly not interested in your money (unless you have a job they probably gave it to you anyway). All they ask of you is a little respect. I am sure that you will agree that with all they do for you, it is the least you can do for them.

What do I mean by respect anyway? Well, for starters, if they ask you to do something do it. Sure you might be in the middle of something or maybe you are tired or busy. As soon as you do what they want, you can go back to doing whatever it is that you were doing. Spontaneous hugs, kisses and smiles will brighten anyone's day.

The number one thing you should avoid, however, is attitude. This is probably the most popular form of disrespect. Talking back, rolling your eyes and making them "talk to the hand" all fall under this category.

Allah says in the Qur'an:

"And your Lord has commanded that you shall not serve (any) but Him, and goodness to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, say not to them (so much as) 'Off' (an utterance showing disgust) nor chide them, and speak to them a generous word. And make yourself submissively gentle to them with compassion, and say: O my Lord! have compassion on them, as they brought me up (when I was ) little." [17: 23-24]

Say not to them so much as "Duff." "Duff" is not even a word! It is just a sound you make when you exhale, showing displeasure. If little old "Duff" is haram, (forbidden) what about outright "no" or "I don't want to"? They are probably even more haram! The Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) said "(Of the ) major sins are: to ascribe partners to Allah, disobey parents, murder someone, and to take a false oath (intentionally)." (Bukhari)

Of the major sins! Do you really want Allah to punish you or be upset with you just because you did not set the table? Or because you did not do what your dad asked because he does not know what is cool? Besides, your mother did not even have a choice when you needed your demands met. She just held her breath and changed you as fast as she could before she faints from lack of oxygen.

Furthermore, you should know that what goes around, comes around. The way you treat your parents, your children will treat you. You should not show everyone outside the home respect and your good side but when you come home you show your parents the opposite. You should treat them the way you want to be treated by not only your children but by your friends, classmates and teachers.

Some tips you can try are responding to their requests with a "sure" or "of course". These are little words that go a long way. Surprise them by taking out the trash or offer to watch your siblings while they go out for a nice dinner. They will see you in a different light and they will respect you more.

Your parents will be so pleased with you that they might even decide to give you a 100 dollars shopping spree every week! Woo hoo ! Ok, maybe not. But they will definitely be happy with you and most importantly, Allah will be happy with you, too.